Holy Week

Well, Holy Week is here at last, after a very challenging Lent. I have managed to avoid animal products on Wednesdays and Fridays, but it has been a real struggle. This is less because I love meat and dairy, and more because I find myself eating more processed foods and not getting enough protein to really feel good, despite all my best efforts. So Wednesdays and Fridays have been pretty tough.

In addition, I found myself eating an awful lot of these really great cookies from Trader Joe's- these new maple leaf creme cookies. They are basically maple Oreos in the shape of a maple leaf. I was delighted to discover that they didn't have dairy in them (they have a hescher from the Orthodox Union identifying them as kosher dairy, but when I read the label, there didn't actually seem to be dairy products in it, so I assume they are just made on the same line as other products that do have dairy in them), and dismayed to realize that this would probably mean that I would end up eating a lot of them during Lent. Which I did. Because I am weak, and they are delicious, and technically do not violate the fasting requirements of Lent.

Which brought me to another thought. I am pretty sure that while maybe not violating the letter of the law, those cookies definitely violate the spirit of fasting. They are delicious, terrible for me, and honestly, I enjoy them a lot more than I enjoy having milk in my cereal instead of almond milk. And Christianity isn't really about the law is it? I mean, it's not about the law in the same way that Judaism is about the law- Judaism is ALL about the law! Some Jews go to school for years and years and years just to really learn the Torah and the Talmud and other writings, just so they will know how to best practice.

But Christians are different. For us, the belief is the primary feature, and even churchgoers with only the most cursory Children's Bible (raises hand) story knowledge knows that Jesus scolded the Pharisees for upholding the letter of the law but not the spirit.

So, in the interest of the spirit of the law, I made a decision about Lent for next year. While I definitely believe that eating no animal products makes for a more mindful day where you remember Lent with every meal you plan (and complain about, in my case), I think that I would best observe Lent by following a more Roman Catholic model, and giving up something that I really, really enjoy, something that it is hard for me not to eat.

Next year, I give up sugar. I actually think this will be MORE challenging in terms of resisting temptation and sacrifice, and will actually be better for me on both a physical and spiritual level. You guys, I LOVE sugar. LOVE IT. And I can't stand artificial sweeteners, so I won't be going there, either. I have given up things for Lent in the past- Coca-cola, alcohol, but never have I tried sugar. I tried chocolate once, but I only made it about 24 hours.

Giving up sugar will have the added bonus of not alienating my non-practicing husband, who abhors Lent because he knows it means lots of vegetarian chili and lentils for dinner.

Twitter

I have an account on Twitter. It is a general account where I post whatever I want, and not really related to religion or being Armenian, except for when it comes up organically, which sometimes it does (like when I complain about not wanting to go to Armenian lessons).

I posted (tweeted?) a friend about Trader Joe's new maple leaf creme cookies being a terrific chocolate-free dessert for Lent (NB for Armenians- they are also dairy/egg free, shock of shockers, so if you are still eating sugar, fine for us too), and now I have both the Church of England and Westminster Abbey following me! Too funny.

By the way, if you are interested in following me on Twitter, my username is anianiani.

Almost a year!

Sad, but it has been almost a year now since I have posted. I see a bunch of comments on my last post, but for some reason, blogger doesn't have dates attached to comments. I need to see if I can fix that.

Anyway, I have settled into more of a routine. I switched churches, which I think was a good decision for me; I am just a better fit at the other parish.

I want to say hi to Der Hovnan Demerjian, and give him a special welcome, as I was in the congregation when he celebrated his first Badarak after being ordained the weekend before. I think the Armenian Church is lucky to have such young and energetic champions. My recollection is that he gave a terrific sermon about how we should overcome the conflict between different groups of Armenians and look up to God rather than at the flaws in each other. What a great message!

Growing up in a place with basically no Armenians other than my extended family (plus a few others), I had heard about this eastern/western divide, but I hadn't really seen it in action until I came here. Even in California, at my old church, there wasn't an issue; the priest, like so many younger priests, was from the former USSR. The old core of the church were mostly from the diaspora. No one cared. The priest is a great guy, very devout, very devoted the church, nice, loves kids, etc., etc., basically, everything you would want a priest to be, and that is what people cared about, not where he grew up. I think the respect that we all had for him and his family extended to the other eastern Armenians in our congregation, and I felt that we really were all one family.

Even today, I was hearing people ask each other, "oh, was your mother [town]stantsi?" (I can't remember the town) I am always having to ask people "What does that mean?" because honestly, I didn't grow up with these labels, and I don't know them, and I would rather not. I don't really care.

Anyway, this is the first week of Lent! I already broke the fast accidentally- I got fed at church, and I ate vospov kufta (done w/ chickpeas instead of lentils, though), only to find out that it had been made with chicken broth and butter. Oops! No wonder it tasted so good! I am just doing Wednesdays and Fridays this year (that is the most I have ever done; I am really impressed with people who do all 40 days! Wow!!), but I am determined to do it right this year, at least on Wednesdays and Fridays.

Palm Sunday

Last Sunday was my first Armenian Church Palm Sunday. We were in Boston last year, so I didn't get to go. I had heard that Palm Sunday was the best day of the year to go to church. If you only picked one Sunday to go to church, Palm Sunday was the one.

I had heard something vague about candles and children. In the "old country" (which varies, depending on where you are from. It could be Lebanon, Syria, Iran, or even Armenia), the kids used to hold lit candles and walk around the church on Palm Sunday. One lady at church told me that everyone had different candles. Different colors, different sizes, no rhyme or reason, just different festive colorful candles. My mom said that when she was growing up, the kids would have different sized candles according to their age.

Anyway, in this church, no candles. Maybe they used to do it? Looking at the kids, though, it seems like a good idea to just stick with the palm fronds. Palm Sunday, being the day to go to church, is also the day when everyone brings their tiny babies and their rambunctious toddlers, kids who are too young for Sunday School and don't normally come to church. These toddlers can handle palm fronds, and the babymommas can manage holding their infant and a palm frond, but seems like candles might not be the way to go, safety-wise.

Church was packed. The only time I've seen a crowd like this was at the funeral last November. The line for communion was incredibly long. One of the highlights was watching the priest give communion to a baby that couldn't have been more than four months old. This baby seemed to be the child of an Armenian man and an Asian woman, who must have converted, because she took communion too. The priest's face just lit up when he was giving the baby communion. I really like that this priest cares so much about making kids and their parents welcome.

I went up to him after the service and told him that, and also that I appreciated that he didn't just "phone it in" every Sunday like I have seen other priests do during my recent travels. He broke out into this huge smile and gave me a big hug. We all like to be appreciated sometimes.

Lent: Total Failure

So we are almost all the way through Lent (30+ days and counting), and it has been a total bust in terms of eating vegan. I started out with great intentions. I went to Trader Joe's and stocked up on key vegan staples like almond milk (because soy milk tastes nasty) and ready-made lentil dishes. I kept Lent for all of two weeks. And not even the whole two weeks; my goal was just to go vegan (maybe + fish in a pinch, since I knew we'd be travelling) on Wednesdays and Fridays, as recommended by the Eastern Diocese, who seems pretty understanding of the annoyances of cutting out all dairy and meat for almost 6 weeks.

The first week was tough, but no problem. Week two, we were travelling to all the cities where my husband got job offers. It just became impossible, although I did make it through both Wednesday and Friday. We would be eating breakfast somewhere where there was nothing but eggs or cereal (no almond milk) on the menu, people were taking us out for every meal to a restaurant where we often had zero input in choosing, there wouldn't be anything close to vegan on the menu, or even + fish (the fish would inevitably have some kind of brown butter sauce), or I would end up eating tofu and edamame, and that's it. I gave up. I thought I would get back into it when we got back from our 2 week trip, but we had to decide what job offer to take, which was incredibly stressful. A high-class problem, I know. But it was really stressful! I just couldn't handle devoting mental energy to both making this decision and also to holding myself back from eating cheese. Or yogurt. Or milk. Or eggs. I just couldn't do it.

Before we got any job offers but after the interviews, every time I would go to church, I would light a candle and say special prayers during Der Voghormia that my husband would get a really good offer in a place where we both would be happy and do well. He ended up with five offers total, which was amazing, and was selected as one of the top seven people on the job market this year (!!!!). He has worked really hard, but God has also blessed us.

While we were travelling, I made a point to visit whatever Armenian church was in town (all but one university have a church within a 30 minute drive). I visited the one in Cambridge MA, and the one in Trumbull CT (the Trumbull church is the friendliest church I have been to, bar none. I am serious!!!! Lots of people came up to us and talked to us afterwards, without us approaching a soul. Very impressive.). It became really clear to me that this decision was going to be hard, so at both churches, I lit candles and said special Der Voghormia prayers that we would make the right decision.

We have settled on a place; we will be heading to the Glendale of the East- Boston MA. Although the department isn't the best department where he had an offer, we think it is the right department in terms of our global happiness as a couple. I will say special prayers this week of thanksgiving, and also pray that we have made the right decision and that our instincts that we will be happy there are correct.

Great Lent

Today is the first day of Lent, the 40 (ish) day period of fasting before Easter. In the Armenian Church, traditionally we abstain from eating all animal products (with the possible exception of fish....). Going hard-core vegan is difficult, so the Eastern Diocese recommends at least going vegan on Wednesdays and Fridays. I did this last year, and it does get tedious. I would like to add another fast day during the week, but then I have to negotiate with my odar husband, who gets cranky at the prospect of no meat at dinner twice a week.

Here are some tips from the Eastern Diocese. Notice that one of the sample recipes is a fish recipe! I am taking that as an okay to eat fish. I have heard mixed things about whether fish is okay. It makes my life a lot easier if it is.

Why do we fast for Lent in the first place? First, we are preparing ourselves for the resurrection of Christ. Our fast is based upon Jesus's 40 days/nights in the desert, when he fasted and resisted Satan (Matthew 4:12). I was thinking that the desert probably isn't as good of a place to resist temptation as living your every day life in an environment that presents temptation and bad behavior at every turn (I wonder what the Biblical equivalent of Bratz dolls were? Or Girls Gone Wild videos?), but when you are uncomfortable physically, you end up being a lot more uncomfortable mentally. It is easy to love God when you are comfortable and everything is going right. It is much harder when you are experiencing difficulty, discomfort, and deprivation (just look at the book of Job!).

Lent is also about removing those secular distractions, although I confess that I am not very good at this, personally. In theory, I should refrain from TV, movies, and other fun activities, but in practice, I probably won't.

In some ways, the Catholic way of doing Lent (give up something of your own choice, don't eat meat on Fridays) may be more challenging. I gave up alcohol a couple of times, and I have never successfully given up chocolate, despite a few attempts. However, the Armenian way of Lent is perhaps more mindful. Even something as mundane as eating breakfast, guess what? Even if you want a simple breakfast of oatmeal, you can't put milk on it. Eggs? Forget it. Cheese and bread? Nope. And that is just breakfast! So you think about God every meal of the day, and when you are grocery shopping too.